Je kan iedereen op je verliefd laten worden door deze vragen te stellen

Gooi Tinder maar weg, je kan blijkbaar iedereen verliefd op je laten worden door de juiste vragen te stellen.

In 1977 werd er een onderzoek gepubliceerd over hoe je op iedereen verliefd kan worden. Een methode waarbij je elkaar 36 persoonlijke vragen stelt en elkaar daarna 4 minuten lang in stilte in de ogen kijkt. Beetje ongemakkelijk wel… Maar blijkbaar is dat alleen maar nodig om verliefd op elkaar te worden.

In The New York Times werd dit onderzoek een nieuw leven in geblazen toen de schijfster een uitgebreid stuk schreef over deze methode uit 1977. Ze nodigde een random dude uit voor een experimentele date, zodat ze dit onderzoek in real life kon ervaren. En jawel, de twee werden verliefd op elkaar.

In het officiële onderzoek werken twee complete vreemden van elkaar tegenover elkaar gezet in een kamer, moesten zij 36 vragen aan elkaar stellen zoals ‘Wanneer heb je voor het laatst gehuild?’ en ‘Hoe is je relatie met je moeder?’. Hierna keken ze elkaar 4 minuten lang in de ogen. Deze twee complete vreemden waren 6 maanden later getrouwd.

Doordat de standaard ‘Wat studeer je?- saaie vragen overslaat en direct naar de persoonlijke vragen gaat, creëer je een intimiteit die je normaal pas na een paar weken zou voelen. De 4 minuten in elkaars ogen kijken versterkt dit gevoel. Beetje awkward, maar wij houden dit lijstje in onze achterzak mochten we ooit één van deze chicks tegenkomen.

01. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
02. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
03. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
04. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
05. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
06. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
07. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
08. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
09. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Bron: Spunk.nl